In one of my Yahoo! groups last week, the debate came up about big women...you know fat women.
The whole thing started for me when a certain member said it was her preference not to date big women. She wanted someone who was "more fit," "cares about her health," and "likes to exercise." The debate was fast and furious, people spouting off about how they felt about dating a woman who has more ample assets.
This was my first response: "i agree, it's nothing wrong with preferences; everyone likes what they like. but when you discriminate against a whole group of women just because of their size (and by the way, bigger women far outnumber skinny women), i think that's wrong. i myself am a bigger woman, and have no problem as far as my size because i know i offer alot more than just what i look like. there's a lot more of us BBWs than thin women, and our hearts are what matter. and it should also be said that just because a woman is "overweight" does not mean she isn't healthy. there are some women just bigger becuause of heredity and genetics, and don't have any health issues. it also doesn't imply that she doesn't exercise or eat right either."
Of course, some ladies jumped on me, saying it's not "discrimination" to overlook big women, just a preference. Some even proceeded to give me the dictionary definition.
Hmmm...
You may call it what you will, but when you decide not to date someone simply on looks than what they have to offer, it is a prejudice. Maybe not a textbook definition of prejudice, but one nonetheless.
This person chose to not date a whole group of women because of what size jeans they're wearing. Forget that she may have the notorious "cute face," the one that would look so much prettier "if you just lost the weight." Or that she may be intelligent, have a good heart, or can cook a mean lasagna that would make you slap yo mama. (Cause the one thing we big gurls can do is cook.)
I'm all for preferences, like there's certain women I never thought about dating (those women shall remain namless, although they are of a lighter persuasion), but I would never rule out dating one.
Cause the one that I ignore just might be my soulmate. And I'd be too busy worrying about what she looked like.
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
FattyHating: The New Prejudice
In one of my Yahoo! groups last week, the debate came up about big women...you know fat women.
The whole thing started for me when a certain member said it was her preference not to date big women. She wanted someone who was "more fit," "cares about her health," and "likes to exercise." The debate was fast and furious, people spouting off about how they felt about dating a woman who has more ample assets.
This was my first response: "i agree, it's nothing wrong with preferences; everyone likes what they like. but when you discriminate against a whole group of women just because of their size (and by the way, bigger women far outnumber skinny women), i think that's wrong. i myself am a bigger woman, and have no problem as far as my size because i know i offer alot more than just what i look like. there's a lot more of us BBWs than thin women, and our hearts are what matter. and it should also be said that just because a woman is "overweight" does not mean she isn't healthy. there are some women just bigger becuause of heredity and genetics, and don't have any health issues. it also doesn't imply that she doesn't exercise or eat right either."
Of course, some ladies jumped on me, saying it's not "discrimination" to overlook big women, just a preference. Some even proceeded to give me the dictionary definition.
Hmmm...
You may call it what you will, but when you decide not to date someone simply on looks than what they have to offer, it is a prejudice. Maybe not a textbook definition of prejudice, but one nonetheless.
This person chose to not date a whole group of women because of what size jeans they're wearing. Forget that she may have the notorious "cute face," the one that would look so much prettier "if you just lost the weight." Or that she may be intelligent, have a good heart, or can cook a mean lasagna that would make you slap yo mama. (Cause the one thing we big gurls can do is cook.)
I'm all for preferences, like there's certain women I never thought about dating (those women shall remain namless, although they are of a lighter persuasion), but I would never rule out dating one.
Cause the one that I ignore just might be my soulmate. And I'd be too busy worrying about what she looked like.
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